I have more to add to this post, but can't yet word it.

Truth is, I'm glad I broke it off. I'm much happier now.

But I have had nightmares every single night since.

I think part of my sub-conscious feels like a monster.

We discovered that Pop Rock's and Coke won't kill you.

He's mine, but I will never feel like he belongs to me.

This Love will be the death of me, although I know I will never fully understand it.

Find myself, laying in his dirty sheets.

Trying to ignore the bullshit my friends are saying about how I'm too good for him.

I know he is pulling me down, but I don't mind this time.

I'm drowning slowly, and it's beautiful.

This is pure happiness.

I'll make sure I'll be prepared when the heartbreak comes.

Directions On How To Deal With Death.

-Sleep

-Eat

-Drink

-Pee

-Repeat, repeat until It doesn't hurt anymore

Lust

Darling, the stars are too pretty out here for us to go in there and do something so shameful.

Fine. Go ahead and call me a fucking hipster.

It's all about transitioning.

We know what we wanna be.

We know how we wanna dress.

We know how we want others to perceive us.

We slide into different positions and realize

We like how we originally were.

Maybe it's not always about trying to fix something broken.

Maybe it's about starting over and creating something better.

Come to think of it,

I expected more from you.

You were the kind one.

You texted me every single day asking how I was doing.

We have so much in common.

We talk non-stop when we hangout.

EVEN through the movies.

Like a light-switch

You stop texting me.

Claim you don't ever want a girlfriend.

Convince me I'm one of your best friends.

Always the same story.

What surprised me, Is that it came from you.

Yeah

You're reading this.

Yeah

You didn't expect it.

I'm fucking tired of my friends.

Always telling me we're perfect together.

They won't let go

Like you did.

And I'm fucking sick of getting my hopes up.

This isn't part of the plan.

FUCK ME.

FUCK seeing my ex today.

FUCK my coworker, who claims it's unfair that I won't clean the chicken pans because I'm vegan.

FUCK the impatient dick at the green light who honked at me.

FUCK the asshole at Fred Meyer who blew smoke in my face.

FUCK IT ALL!

And I think I'm menstruating. Am I overreacting?